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Saturday, February 26, 2011

"Some feelings sink so deep into the heart that only loneliness can help you find them again. Some truths are so painful that only shame can help you live with them. And some things are just so sad that only your soul can do the crying for you." ~ Gregory David Roberts, Shantaram

Mera Jee karda h,mein teri gali aavan...

mera jee krda h mein teri gali aavan,tere buhe more bathi rahan,tu jadd niklein gharon tan tera saya jeha ban javan,pure din har oo than dekhan jithe tu jaana h,khana h,vehna h...
mera jee karda h mein teri gali aavan,tere ghar de khule buhe chon andar aa javaan,te ek saaye wangar puree ghar te cha javaan,jiven tu mere ruh te chaya  hoya h...
mera jee karda h mein teri gali aavan, tu buhe khada mera intezaar krda hoven,mein tere gale lag javaan,tere mukh nu chumaana na naal bhar devan,buss ae hi mere saare sapne h...

Between Black and White:The Grey Area

I always used to think,or rather used to console myself with the thought that life is not divided into just black and white,there are grey areas too.But now it looks like the grey areas are figments of our imagination for the want of ours to justify our indecisiveness,to explain away those awkward moments to ourselves where we can't decide due to lack of confidence or abundance of love in us.But then life is life and we have to decide finally on questions like, do i really love him/her? ``` why do i love or care about,when he/she doesn't cares?```will life be the same without that person?```and if you start answering these questions to yourself honestly,then it looks like the end of the world,so ur mind answers like this...'may be that person loves u'```'may be he/she cares```'n life may or may not be same'''
Yes,in teenage everything seems like end of world...but we later discover, 'It wasn't' shun the 'May be's & the "Grey areas' out of ur life.arrive on decisions sooner and with lesser pain,just by making yourself realize there are no grey areas...there never were..and never will be...:) let in every colour into your life and have a passion to enjoy life to fullest...have a colorful Happy life..:)

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

"Can't We Talk?" (condensed from: You Just Don't Understand) by Deborah tannen

A married couple was in a car when the wife turned to her husband and asked, "Would you like to stop for a coffee?"
"No, thanks," he answered truthfully. So they didn't stop.
The result? The wife, who had indeed wanted to stop, became annoyed because she felt her preference had not been considered. The husband, seeing his wife was angry, became frustrated. Why didn't she just say what she wanted?
Unfortunately, he failed to see that his wife was asking the question not to get an instant decision, but to begin a negotiation. And the woman didn't realize that when her husband said no, he was just expressing his preference, not making a ruling. When a man and woman interpret the same interchange in such conflicting ways, it's no wonder they can find themselves leveling angry charges of selfishness and obstinacy at each other.
As a specialist in linguistics, I have studied how the conversational styles of men and women differ. We cannot lump all men or all women into fixed categories. But the seemingly senseless misunderstandings that haunt our relationships can in part be explained by the different conversational rules by which men and women play.
Whenever I write or speak about this subject, people tell me they are relieved to learn that what has caused them trouble - and what they had previously ascribed to personal failings - is, in fact, very common.
Learning about the different though equally valid conversational frequencies men and women are tuned to can help banish the blame and help us truly talk to one another. Here are some of the most common areas of conflict:
Status vs. Support.
Men grow up in a world in which a conversation is often a contest, either to achieve the upper hand or to prevent other people from pushing them around. For women, however, talking is often a way to exchange confirmation and support.
I saw this when my husband and I had jobs in different cities. People frequently made comments like, "That must be rough," and "How do you stand it?" I accepted their sympathy and sometimes even reinforced it, saying, "The worst part is having to pack and unpack al the time."
But my husband often reacted with irritation. Our situation had advantages, he would explain. As academics, we had four-day weekends together, as well as long vacations throughout the year and four months in the summer.
Everything he said was true, but I didn't understand why he chose to say it. He told me that some of the comments implied: "Yours is not a real marriage. I am superior to you because my wife and I have avoided your misfortune." Until then it had not occurred to me there might be an element of one- upmanship.
I now see that my husband was simply approaching the world as many men do: as a place where people try to achieve and maintain status. I, on the other hand, was approaching the world as many women do: as a network of connections seeking support and consensus.
Independence vs. Intimacy.
Since women often think in terms of closeness and support, they struggle to preserve intimacy. Men, concerned with status, tend to focus more on independence. These traits can lead women and men to starkly different views of the same situation.
When Josh's old high-school friend called him at work to say he'd be in town, Josh invited him to stay for the weekend. That evening he told Linda they were having a house guest.
Linda was upset. How could Josh make these plans without discussing them with her beforehand? She would never do that to him. "Why don't you tell your friend you have to check with your wife?" she asked.
Josh replied, "I can't tell my friend, 'I have to ask my wife for permission'!"
To Josh, checking with his wife would mean he was not free to act on his own. It would make him feel like a child or an underling. But Linda actually enjoys telling someone, "I have to check with Josh." It makes her feel good to show that her life is intertwined with her husband's.
Advice vs. Understanding.
Eve had a benign lump removed from her breast. When she confided to her husband, Mark, that she was distressed because the stitches changed the contour of her breast, he answered, "You can always have plastic surgery."
This comment bothered her. "I'm sorry you don't like the way it looks," she protested. "But I'm not having any more surgery!"
Mark was hurt and puzzled. "I don't care about a scar," he replied. "It doesn't bother me at all."
"Then why are you telling me to have plastic surgery?" she asked.
"Because you were upset about the way it looks."
Eve felt like a heel. Mark had been wonderfully supportive throughout her surgery. How could she snap at him now?
The problem stemmed from a difference in approach. To many men a complaint is a challenge to come up with a solution. Mark thought he was reassuring Eve by telling her there was something she could do about her scar. But often women are looking for emotional support, not solutions.
When my mother tells my father she doesn't feel well, he invariably offers to take her to the doctor. Invariably, she is disappointed with his reaction. Like many men, he is focused on what he can do, whereas she wants sympathy.
Information vs. Feelings.
A cartoon shows a husband opening a newspaper and asking his wife, "Is there anything you'd like to say to me before I start reading the paper?" We know there isn't - but that as soon as the man begins reading, his wife will think of something.
The cartoon is funny because people recognize their own experience in it. What's not funny is that many women are hurt when men don't talk to them at home, and many men are frustrated when they disappoint their partners without knowing why.
Rebecca, who is happily married, told me this is a source of dissatisfaction with her husband, Stuart. When she tells him what she is thinking, he listens silently. When she asks him what is on his mind, he says, "Nothing."
All Rebecca's life she has had practice in verbalizing her feelings with friends and relatives. But Stuart has had practice in keeping his innermost thoughts to himself. To him, like most men, talk is information. He doesn't feel that talk is required at home.
Yet many such men hold center stage in a social setting, telling jokes and stories. They use conversation to claim attention and to entertain. Women can wind up hurt that their husbands tell relative strangers things they have not told them.
To avoid this kind of misunderstanding, both men and women can make adjustments. A woman may observe a man's desire to read the paper without seeing it is a rejection. And a man can understand a woman's desire to talk without feeling it is a manipulative intrusion.
Orders vs. Proposals.
Diana often begins statements with "Let's." She might say "Let's park over there" or "Let's clean up now, before lunch."
This makes Nathan angry. He has deciphered Diana's "Let's" as a command. Like most men, he resists being told what to do. But to Diana, she is making suggestions, not demands. Like most women, she formulates her requests as proposals rather than orders. Her style of talking is a way of getting others to do what she wants - but by winning agreement first.
With certain men, like Nathan, this tactic backfires. If they perceive someone is trying to get them to do something indirectly, they feel manipulated and respond more resentfully than they would to a straightforward request.
Conflict vs. Compromise.
In trying to prevent fights, some women refuse to oppose the will of others openly. But sometimes it's far more effective for a woman to assert herself, even at the risk of conflict.
Dora was frustrated by a series of used cars she drove. It was she who commuted to work, but her husband, Hank, who chose the cars. Hank always went for cars that were "interesting" but in continual need of repair.
After Dora was nearly killed when her brakes failed, they were in the market for yet another used car. Dora wanted to buy a late-model sedan from a friend. Hank fixed his sights on a 15-year-old sports car. She tried to persuade Hank that it made more sense to buy the boring but dependable car, but he would not be swayed.
Previously she would have acceded to his wishes. This time Dora bought the boring but dependable car and steeled herself for Hanks' anger. To her amazement, he spoke not a word of remonstrance. When she later told him what she had expected, he scoffed at her fears and said she should have done what she wanted from the start if she felt that strongly about it.
As Dora discovered, a little conflict won't kill you. At the same time, men who habitually oppose others can adjust their style to opt for less confrontation.
When we don't see style differences for what they are, we sometimes draw unfair conclusions: "You're illogical," "You're self- centered," "You don't care about me." But once we grasp the two characteristic approaches, we stand a better chance of preventing disagreements from spiraling out of control.
Learning the other's ways of talking is a leap across the communication gap between men and women, and a giant step towards genuine understanding.

Sunday, February 20, 2011

ishq da rutba,ishq hi jane...

Samajh Sakein na-2, 
Samajh Sakein na Log siyane,
Ishq da rutba, Ishq hi Jaane.

Is duniya ka khel rachayea,
Ishq di khaatir aap Khuda ne,
Ishq da rutba, ishq hi jaane.

Duniya bhuladi Ishq ne,
Apani mana di Ishq ne,
Dil wale jal gaye shonk se,
JAb aag lagadi Ishq ne ,
Jogi banade Ishq-Ishq,
Rogi banade Ishq-Ishq,
Sulii charaye Ishq-ishq,
Jeena sikhaye Ishq-ishq,
Jis ko Diya DIL, Jaan bhi usi ko do,
Jal ke kahein parwane, 
Ishq ka rutba,Ishq hi jaane-2
Is duniya ka khel rachayea,
Ishq di khaatir aap Khuda ne,
Ishq da rutba, ishq hi jaane-2

Kissa purana ishq ka, Dushman zamana ishq ka,
Jis ko laga majnu bana, Ulta nishana ishq ka -2,
Neendain churade ishq, 
Raatain jagadae ishq-ishq,
Jee ko jalaye ishq-ishq, 
Pagal banade ishq-ishq
Jitna bhi aaye dukh, Shikwa kabhi na karein,

Chup hi rahein parwane,

Ishq ka rutba,Ishq hi jaane-2
Is duniya ka khel rachayea,
Ishq di khaatir aap Khuda ne,
Ishq da rutba, ishq hi jaane-2

Samajh sake na-2 Log siyane,
Ishq ka rutba ishq da rutba Ishq hi jaane-4

some cute animal pics

j tu bin daseya tur jana c:Heer:Gurdaas maan g

tenu yaad kara naale rowa
rona palle paun waleya haye paun waleya
yaad kara naale rowa..
tenu yaad kara naale rowa

j tu bin daseya tur jana c
ve me naal saheliyan na jandi
agg lagdi chandre paani nu
je mein na bhardi na pashtaandi
j tu bin daseya . . .

tu beshak sanu jaan leya
saada asli roop pchaan leya
kite andro wehnda dil saada
tenu najar hakikat aa jandi
j tu bin daseya. . .

saada shessha e dil ajmaa chaleyein
saade jism te teda pa chaleyein
saade jehe tarede jisma nu
koi malamm raas v nahi aandi
j tu bin daseya . . .

kis de sirnawe me khat bheja
bheja ta me kehde hath bheja
uthe kaa atte kasad ki jaane
jithe maut v jaan tu bhey khaandi
j tu bin daseya . . .

sada tere sir iljaam nahi
asi bad haan par badnaam nahi
"mar jaane mann" te ki shikwa
sanu aap nibhani nahi aandi..

j tu bin daseya tur jana c
ve me naal saheliya naa jandi
agg lagdi chandre paani nu
j me na bhardi na pashtaandi

song- saheliyaan
singer-gurdas mann

Saturday, February 19, 2011

“A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave. A soul mate’s purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, and make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life.” ~Elizabeth Gilbert


Do not stand at my grave and weep

Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am in a thousand winds that blow,
I am the softly falling snow.
I am the gentle showers of rain,
I am the fields of ripening grain.
I am in the morning hush,
I am in the graceful rush
Of beautiful birds in circling flight,
I am the starshine of the night.
I am in the flowers that bloom,
I am in a quiet room.
I am in the birds that sing,
I am in each lovely thing.
Do not stand at my grave bereft
I am not there. I have not left.
Do not stand at my grave and weep is a poem written in 1932 by Mary Elizabeth Frye.

Thursday, February 17, 2011


Hai koi dard sa seene mein us ke liye bhi..
jo mar rha hai har pal zinda rehne ki koshish mein
par kya karein ye narm gadde ka aaram fusla leta hai har baar
varna hum bhi uth jaate beaarami mein
kuch gale mein kharash hai aj kal rehti
varna hum bhi unke liye aawaz uthaate
ma baap ki khwahishen poori karni padti hain
nahi to gareeb ki roti ke liye mar jaate
kuch jal rahe te hawas ki bhukh mein khud
varna uski roti ki bhookh zaroor mitaate
are bhagwaan hi chahta hai meri ayaashi aur uski barbaadi
vo kehta to to use abaad karne jaate

Wednesday, February 9, 2011


Dear beloved,
The path of life is and will always be the path of mystery because there is no answer to  'what is love?'. Loving you is like plunging into a dark night, but I know this mystery would never go away, this  knowledge makes me learn to accept this dark night, to live  with it, it's the  desire to go on.
 I  know  you  may  love  someone  else, for  it  is  the  way  of  life, but  I  also  know  that  you  will  never  love  anyone  as  you  love  me, because  it  feels  like  I  m  a  part  of  you  forever  and  you  are a  part of me.Now I know, that love is the key to understanding all the mysteries,it makes me capable of learning everything and of knowing things I  had never dared even to think  about. 
There  are  some  moments  in  life  when one is  totally  at  peace  and  yet, the  only  possible  alternative  seems  to  be , to  lose  all  control. It  was  one  such  moment  when  I  told you  I  was  in  love  with you  and  I think  one  such  moment  when I  fell  in  love  with  you, though  I  remember  the  first  moment and not  the  latter. 
I  am  engaged  in  discovering  the  meaning  of  life and you, somehow make it easier for me to do so. I am glad that you exist. With  you  in  my  life, it  has  become  much  more  intense, much  more  brilliant  because  each  minute  of the  life, each  step that  I take  goes   far  beyond  me. I know there is a reason for us to be together, and for me, it is enough, though I don't know the reason. 
Sometimes it feels like you are the reason of existence of this whole world, if you were not by my side, it won't matter if all the angels came flying down from heaven to comfort me, and heaven will make no sense then. I love you because you have shown me the joy of love. Life is an act of faith and you are the path I have chosen. I know my expressing emotions like this may worry you but I guess with time I would acquire wisdom and wisdom can tame the wild horses that the emotions are.Yeah, I know that problems of heart bruise the soul, but sometimes in life we arrive at a point where nothing matters...