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Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Perplexities About Simplicity of Life

Yesterday, I sat down to paint so as to divert my mind from thinking about a day I very much wanted to forget, and surprise! The painting I ended up making exactly resembled the pattern of the dress I was wearing that day, so much so that if the painting and dress were shown to some stranger he/she will certainly believe that either the dress is inspired by painting or vice-versa. What made me create something related to a day I so wanted to run away from? The best answer that comes to my mind is ‘subconscious’. it perplexes me, It seems like a magical trick to me-an illusion. Painting is an escapade for me, when my mind gets too weary of thinking about something I can’t seem to get away from; I pick up the brushes and colors and withdraw from the world for a while. Needless to say, my paintings never find displays outside my room; they are far too personal for that. A painting listens to me when I am dying to say what I know and nobody cares enough to listen, it’s like hugging someone and crying your heart out , knowing that this very person will understand every single little tear drop of yours. World’s biggest miracle as well as irony is, what we keep on seeking for years and years on end and are often not able to find, is buried deep inside us all along.
                                                                  Every decision of ours affects the universe in some way, even if you are sitting idle at this very moment; it has its implications. Whatever you choose to do, affects not only you but also the higher order of things. Every human is important in that way. Your yearnings and journeys are not meaningless they have given you some wonderful gifts, may be you are just not aware. Nothing you have done till now can be put out to be unimportant and neither can you be said to be unimportant ever. You are very crucial to this world, your doings affect the world in a unique way so be very careful in your choice of what you are going to do, it will affect the cosmos in some way.
Life to us numerically is ‘these many years’ say...he lived for 64 years, but qualitatively life consists of just the few days out of these years; the days which are unforgettable for us.  When I decided to paint, to me I was just painting with some colors and few brushes on a paper to get my mind off of something, but actually I was recreating a day without being conscious of it. Likewise we do many things without being conscious of them so choose wisely when you have to decide ‘what you ought to do’.

wishing you a happy life…...:) :) :)

Monday, July 18, 2011


Hopes are the drops of joy in ocean of life.But what when this hopes seem to be nowhere!!! when there is so much darkness around you that you have almost forgot what light looks like!!! At that time have faith in god's plan :),he knows the map of your life while you know only the way you have followed till now and the road ahead till it takes that bend and you don't know what you will have ahead waiting for you.The darkness must remind you all the time that light exists and you must keep on striving for bathing your life in light to expel the darkness.Have faith because it is a pre-requisite to have hope...and to have hope is to have happiness. 
wishing that you have lots of happy moments today...:)

Friday, May 27, 2011

This Pain is a Blessing

 It hurts.It hurts in a 'want-to-curl-up-and-die' way.It hurts terribly,but I won't cry.I won't let go of this pain through tears.I won't let go of 'U' that lives in me.I am that kind of stubborn.yes,i do smile.I do say 'i am okay' to everyone and you too because i want you(you and only you and no one else :in a way this is an extension of adulation i always had for you) to look into my eyes and know that however much i say that, i m not at all okay.I want you to hold me in your arms and let me cry my heart out.I am not delusional,i know you will never be around because you can't,you are now the part of the world,not my world.

I sometimes think this is not pain.It is something that goes so deep that it becomes incomprehensible to me.It has made me grow in a way that was totally unfathomable earlier.It isn't that it feels good or sweet,but the outcome is accumulation of a revived,afresh flow of strength,vitality and a profound appreciation of  the cosmos.

I know whatever i say,do or write,after all doesn't matters.Because those broken teeny weeny shards of colorful glass that our life was,can't be glued together again,much like irreversible chemical reactions.

I now apprehend that acting mature is like being bind by shackles,but it is the only choice offered to me under the socially acceptable behavior expected of me.I am encompassed by the ironies life keeps serving on silver platter,everything as well as nothing matters concurrently.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011


Barish ke sath jo mitti ki khushboo aati h
mujhe tumhari yaad dilati h

abhi nahi ho tum mere pass
par barish ki bunde mujhe tumhari aawaj sunati h

andaaza nhi h ho kahan tum
par ho tum salamat ye hawayein mujhe dhire se keh jati h
sham ko ghar wapas jate baadal
meri aankhein bhar jate h

mujhe tumhari yaad bhut aati h...yaad bhut aati h...

{this was dedicated to me by my bestie...:)) }

Monday, May 23, 2011

वो औरत

उस शहर में सब लोग मुख्य चोराहे  पर जमा थे,बूढ़े,जवान, मर्द,औरतें,अमीर,गरीब ,सब रंग बिरंगे कपडे पहने हुए ,सजे धजे,सब के चेहरे पर लबालब ख़ुशी थी.शायद उस शहर में कोई त्यौहार मनाया जा रहा था,क्रिसमस,दिवाली या ईद... हर तरफ ख़ुशी का माहोल था.हर कोई अपने परिवार दोस्तों के साथ ख़ुशी मना रहा था.सब लोग गले मिल रहे थे,ब्चे आपस में  खेल कूद रहे थे ,प्रेमी जोड़े हाथों में हाथ डाले टहल रहे थे ,कहीं आँखों ही आँखों में इशारे हो रहे थे,तो कहीं गले में बाहें डाली जा रही थी.चारों तरफ की गलियों से जैसे हँसते मुस्कुराते रंगों के मेले चले आ रहे थे चोराहे की तरफ.हर कोई खुश था,कोई अपनी ख़ुशी में खुश,तो कोई दुसरो की ख़ुशी में खुश,तो कोई बस खुश-खुश.तभी उतर दिशा की गली से एक औरत चोराहे की तरफ चली आ रही थी.काले कपडे पहने,नंगे पैरों से ढीली सी चाल से चलते हुए एक उदास,बहुत उदास अनुपम सुंदरी,जैसे ताजमहल को किसी ने  काले रंग से रंग दिया हो,यां चेनाब का पानी सुख गया हो,हिम की बर्फ पिघल गयी हो.ऐसा लगता था उसके भोले से चेहरे पर मुस्कान न होना ज़माने का कोई बड़ा संगीन गुनाह हो ,जैसे किसी जलपरी को धरती पर रहने का श्राप हो,जैसे वो मौत का इस कद्र इंतज़ार कर रही थी की दुःख उसकी रग़ रग़ में बस गया था,जैसे उसने दुःख को एक ओड़नी बना के ओड़ लिया हो.वो औरत चोराहा पर कर दूसरी तरफ खो गयी.कहने की जरुरत नही किसी ने भी उस पर ध्यान नही दिया. उस दिन उस चोराहे पर मोजूद लोगों ने शिव के बिर्हड़े,अमृता के सुन्हडों के  जिन्दा रूप को  देखने  का मौका खो दिया .

Sunday, May 22, 2011

The Healing Power Of Denial

denial:refusal to recognize or acknowledge the reality or existence of a thing.

(psychol) denial: the reduction of anxiety by the unconscious exclusion from the mind of intolerable thoughts, feelings, or facts

in more simple words,denial is refusing to accept the reality.
 It is helping because in case of a highly devastating emotional condition a person may have to face,mind denies the reality until the emotional condition of said person is strong enough to face the reality.

Main tenu fer milangi...

Main tenu fer milangi
kithe? kis trah? pta nahi
shayad tere takhiyl di chinag banke
tere canvas te utrangi
ya khore teri canvas dey utte
ik rahasmayi lakir banke
kamosh tenu takdi rawangi

Jaa khore suraj di loo banke
tere ranga vich ghulangi
jaa ranga diyan bahwa vich beth ke
teri canvas nu wlangi
pata nai kiss trah-kithe
par tenu jrur milangi.

Jaa khore ik chashma bani howangi
te jiven jharneya da paani udd da
main pani diyan bunda
tere pinde te malangi
te ik thandak jahi banke
teri chaati de naal lagangi
main hor kujh nai jaandi
par ena jaandi
ki waqt jo v karega
ae janam mere naal turega

Ae jism mukkda hai
tan sab kujh mukk janda
par cheteyan dey dhaage
kaayenaati kana dey hunde
main uhna kana nu chunagi
dhageyan nu walangi
Te tenu main Fer milangi...
                                                    -AMRITA PRITAM

Amrita....amrita aur Amrita (some excerpts from prose and poetry written by her)

1.Kai logon ko to ishwar kahin rakh kar bhool jaata hai, par main khud hi apne aap ko kahin rakh kar bhool gayi hoon.. jee karta hai, koi ho jo mera apna-aap khoj kar mujhe de jaaye..

 2."Tum mujhe bhale kitni hi baar chhod kar chale jao, par jitni baar jao, us se ek baar zyaada lautna.. agar bichhadna pachaas baar to milna ikyavan baar. Yeh viyog apni baari se aata raha aur saath mein milan bhi. Ant mein milan jeetega.. ek number ke fark se... "
"Tumhara vishwaas nahi toot-ta?"
"Toot-ta hai, par phir bandh jaata hai. Vishwaaas bhale hi pachaas baar toote, par use ikyavan baar bandhna chahiye. Ek baar zyaada, bas ek baar..."

3.Mujhe lagta tha vo abhi ro padegi, par vo royi nahi. Ya phir, shayad aisa rona royi jo kisi ko dikhaayi nahi diya. Dekha! Hum auratein kaisa rona ro sakti hain! kabhi kabhi mera dil karta hai, ki main bhi zor zor se ro sakoon, aur vo bhi zor zor se ro sake.....

4.tere ishq ki ek boond
isme mil gayi thi
isliye maine umr ki
sari kadvahat pi li

 5.Kalm ne aaj geeto ka kafia tod diya
Mera ishq yeh kis mukaam pr aa gya hai

dekh nazar wale,tere samne baithi hu
mere haath se hijr ka kanta nikal de

jisne andhere ke ilawa kabhi kuch nahi buna
veh mohabat aaj kirne bunkr de gayi

utho,apne ghade se pani ka ek katora do
raah k haadse main isi paani se dho lungi.

6. suchche doodh si meri muhabbat
barson ke chaval phatak ker
main dil ki haandiya me raandhne lagi
par duniya ki gili si lakddi se
vah saari handiya dhuaandh gai..

raat peetal ki katori
chaand ki qalai utar gai
kalpna pighla gai
sapna kasla gaya
aur saari neend kadva gai

ishq ka badan thithurne laga
main geet ka kurta seene lagi
to khyalon ka dhaaga ulajh gaya
qalam ki sui toot gai
aur saari baat kho gai 


Sunday, May 15, 2011

What If You Were HERE..!

IF u were Here,may be we would be at a mickey D's or Domino's right now snuggling up to each other,offering the last bite to each other,being like "ohh,i don't want it,u have it"...:)...Or may be,we would be sitting on opposite sides of bed,staring into our respsctive lappis,after a silly fight..But anyway it would be AWESOME,cz U would be right HERE...our love is abnormal,don't you think so? we love,fight,find each other cute,gorgeous and awesome at the same time...we love each other,we care enough about each other to get enraged...i love how you can be so freakingly cute and how you make me feel like the most loved person on earth,how you can break my heart to pieces in a sec and heal it in a microsec...on the whole,i just love the way you love me,which makes me love you all the more...i cherish the love we have and i love that cuteeeeee smile you have...I Love Us...:)

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Numerology: number 5 >>>mine..:)

The 5 is the most dynamic and energetic of all single-digit numbers. It is unpredictable, always in motion and constantly in need of change. Although it is molded from an almost equal mix of masculine and feminine qualities, in general the 5 is slightly more feminine -- albeit a daring, tomboyish kind of feminine, with nothing demure or submissive about her.
The 5 is extremely independent in mind and soul. She is an adventurer and a risk-taker who has a hard time staying in one place, in one job, in one house or in one relationship. Change is an absolute necessity, and yet the 5 is surprisingly loyal. The 2 and 6 are the most harmonious relationship numbers but either one will, when temptation is strong enough, cheat on his or her partner. The 5 will not. The 5 may break off a relationship due to her restless nature, but while in a relationship she will not deceive her partner. However, when she is not in a relationship she considers herself free to date anyone she chooses and has no problem going out with a different person every day of the week (and you better not try to tell her she should limit herself in any way, at least not if you want to stay on her good side).
The 5 generally does not find a suitable career until she has tried a number of different jobs, many of them lasting barely long enough to warrant a full paycheck, especially if there is any kind of routine involved; boredom sets in almost immediately and the 5 simply cannot put up with anything predictable or repetitive. But again, the 5 will surprise her friends and family once she does find her niche, usually after age 30, as her focus, energy and quick mind help her scramble up the ladder faster and with less apparent effort than anyone else. Many 5s take up careers that require travel or otherwise offer a change of environment regularly, becoming tour guides, salespeople, small business owners, independent consultants, lawyers and so forth.
The 5 can adjust quickly to pretty much anything coming her way, and that includes the work environment. On top of that, the 5 is usually tall and good-looking, charming, and charismatic -- all qualities that support her in her career once she sets her mind to it. In addition, the 5 is versatile, adaptable, smart, progressive and tolerant. Anything conventional bores her, while she is drawn to the eccentrics and misfits of society. She is a social creature, funny and uplifting, and very good at making others feel comfortable around her. She is generally well-liked and is often surrounded with friends and acquaintances. However, she also tends to polarize people and those that don't like her tend to be the uptight, self-righteous and judgmental kind.
But perhaps the most dominating trait in the 5 is her uncompromising demand for freedom in thought and action. She makes up her own mind, rebels against any and all dogmas and ideologies, and does not allow herself to be absorbed into clubs, cults, religious sects or ideologies of any kind. Her adventurous, daredevil nature may get her to ride motorcycles but she will not ride with a large group. Chances are she will be rather opinionated and passionate about political issues, but she will not be a member of any party or be nailed down in any way. She changes her mind regularly, but never without good reason. She cannot be controlled but she is flexible and can be converted if the argument is solid and makes sense. She has a healthy sense of humor and doesn't sweat the little things, but she carries her heart on her sleeve and it is not at all uncommon for her to give her heart to the wrong person, as she is not the greatest judge of character.
On the negative side, she can be selfish, thoughtless and irresponsible. She rarely considers the future beyond tomorrow or next week, and worrying is not in her nature. She tends to procrastinate and can be unreliable. However, the most common downfall for the 5 is a tendency to experiment with sex, drugs, alcohol and other weaknesses of the flesh. A desire for instant gratification can be her downfall; add to that a sense of invulnerability, lack of discipline and restraint, and you have a recipe for disaster.
The shape of numbers reflect their nature, and just as the 4 is square and grounded, the 5 is a symbol of dynamic motion. The 4 is controlled, measured, synchronized, and static. The 5 is random energy, elastic and constantly in motion. from :

Friday, April 22, 2011

A Thing of Beauty is a Joy Forever

(drawing room of a house designed on nature theme,extremity of the kind of attempted recreation of nature that i am talking about below)
A new multi-story apartment building is coming up in the street next to my home.While walking home one day, from the sidewalk,I noticed that they had put up a gate to the building,an iron gate with really beautiful intricate patterns of roses,vines and creepers carved in iron.
''It is a beautiful thing,something to feast eyes on" I thought instantly and that reminded me of John Keats 'Endymion'...
                                   "A thing of beauty is a joy forever"
How he talks about the beauty of nature,the all peaceful sleep in a shade naturally made of vine leaves in forest.
Herein lies the irony,We(the human race) destroy the forever beauty of nature to make cities. We destroy whole forests for sake of industrialization and then we try to recreate that very beauty in iron as in the case of the building's gate.First we destroy what god has made for us,then we try to recreate it.We may be able to create several things of utter beauty but Alas,we are mere humans.We can't recreate the ultimate everlasting beauty of nature and thus can't enjoy that peaceful sleep,that content joy.
We do the very same thing in our lives too. We are so mad about success(money,fame and so on) that we think the people who help us out of love for us are idiotic are helping us because we are smart enough to fool them to make them do that work for us. Thus we kill all the warmth of human love that god has created for us. Later we try to recreate that content joy (which only the warmth of human love can provide) through different ways like shopping for clothes, jewelry  or adventure sports, in case of Hollywood's celebs through adopting children, trying out different religions etc, Indian celebs believe in setting up charity organisations.
We,the human beings, forget the only Truth worth remembering, i.e, salvation can be achieved only and only through love,human love.

Saturday, March 19, 2011

What to do when it's HEAD v/s HEART??? :) can take you towards simplification of life and also has the ability to add complexities to such an extent that it would seem there can't ever be anything simple.Heart makes you think something else all the time,it may be a song or a beloved,,,the heart that keeps on saying,'ohh,what if he was here..with you..'...'ohh,he would have loved this on..
So this heart of our's thinks parallel to our mind..but the difference lies in the fact that while our brain is in our control,heart is far beyond our control,and we find ourselves saying,'ah this thought is so stuck in my mind'...
But heart is a tough thing to deal with,it would keep on working,even if you want it to or not...
you may want to get rid of it,and sometimes u must,to live in present,here and now.To achieve to your fullest,to reach the zenith of success.To do so,u must make close your eyes,make yourself comfortable and for once totally concentrate on what your heart is thinking and when u will concentrate on it,it will start to fade away.And in a few moments it will disappear.Then,you can be completely alert and concentrate on 'whatever you should'...:)) hpy lyf...:)) 

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Am I A Crocodile Or A Dove???

In midst of this choas around me,
I fell in love with the silence my soul could achieve,
it engulfed me too n let me retrieve,
the serenity that i perhaps always had in me...

harmful it was meant to be,
but has made me stronger and invulnerable,
made me realise that i was able,
of being better than anybody around me could be...

u may always tell me,what all i can't be,
but sorry i won't be the one to believe,
for i am not going to grieve,
all that you couldn't be for me.

i am not the one to think life could have been better
could have been happier,
for i don't adding if only's,
i am not sorry cz it has only made me stronger,
made me tougher.

i had innocence of dove,and it still thrives in every vein
but now i have got crocodile's skin,
for i don't being a napkin,
i am not sorry cz i haven't lost my heart,
haven't lost my soul.

i only do believe,in being what i want to be
in loving one's i want to love,
am i a crocodile or a dove???

Saturday, February 26, 2011

"Some feelings sink so deep into the heart that only loneliness can help you find them again. Some truths are so painful that only shame can help you live with them. And some things are just so sad that only your soul can do the crying for you." ~ Gregory David Roberts, Shantaram

Mera Jee karda h,mein teri gali aavan...

mera jee krda h mein teri gali aavan,tere buhe more bathi rahan,tu jadd niklein gharon tan tera saya jeha ban javan,pure din har oo than dekhan jithe tu jaana h,khana h,vehna h...
mera jee karda h mein teri gali aavan,tere ghar de khule buhe chon andar aa javaan,te ek saaye wangar puree ghar te cha javaan,jiven tu mere ruh te chaya  hoya h...
mera jee karda h mein teri gali aavan, tu buhe khada mera intezaar krda hoven,mein tere gale lag javaan,tere mukh nu chumaana na naal bhar devan,buss ae hi mere saare sapne h...

Between Black and White:The Grey Area

I always used to think,or rather used to console myself with the thought that life is not divided into just black and white,there are grey areas too.But now it looks like the grey areas are figments of our imagination for the want of ours to justify our indecisiveness,to explain away those awkward moments to ourselves where we can't decide due to lack of confidence or abundance of love in us.But then life is life and we have to decide finally on questions like, do i really love him/her? ``` why do i love or care about,when he/she doesn't cares?```will life be the same without that person?```and if you start answering these questions to yourself honestly,then it looks like the end of the world,so ur mind answers like this...'may be that person loves u'```'may be he/she cares```'n life may or may not be same'''
Yes,in teenage everything seems like end of world...but we later discover, 'It wasn't' shun the 'May be's & the "Grey areas' out of ur life.arrive on decisions sooner and with lesser pain,just by making yourself realize there are no grey areas...there never were..and never will be...:) let in every colour into your life and have a passion to enjoy life to fullest...have a colorful Happy life..:)

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

"Can't We Talk?" (condensed from: You Just Don't Understand) by Deborah tannen

A married couple was in a car when the wife turned to her husband and asked, "Would you like to stop for a coffee?"
"No, thanks," he answered truthfully. So they didn't stop.
The result? The wife, who had indeed wanted to stop, became annoyed because she felt her preference had not been considered. The husband, seeing his wife was angry, became frustrated. Why didn't she just say what she wanted?
Unfortunately, he failed to see that his wife was asking the question not to get an instant decision, but to begin a negotiation. And the woman didn't realize that when her husband said no, he was just expressing his preference, not making a ruling. When a man and woman interpret the same interchange in such conflicting ways, it's no wonder they can find themselves leveling angry charges of selfishness and obstinacy at each other.
As a specialist in linguistics, I have studied how the conversational styles of men and women differ. We cannot lump all men or all women into fixed categories. But the seemingly senseless misunderstandings that haunt our relationships can in part be explained by the different conversational rules by which men and women play.
Whenever I write or speak about this subject, people tell me they are relieved to learn that what has caused them trouble - and what they had previously ascribed to personal failings - is, in fact, very common.
Learning about the different though equally valid conversational frequencies men and women are tuned to can help banish the blame and help us truly talk to one another. Here are some of the most common areas of conflict:
Status vs. Support.
Men grow up in a world in which a conversation is often a contest, either to achieve the upper hand or to prevent other people from pushing them around. For women, however, talking is often a way to exchange confirmation and support.
I saw this when my husband and I had jobs in different cities. People frequently made comments like, "That must be rough," and "How do you stand it?" I accepted their sympathy and sometimes even reinforced it, saying, "The worst part is having to pack and unpack al the time."
But my husband often reacted with irritation. Our situation had advantages, he would explain. As academics, we had four-day weekends together, as well as long vacations throughout the year and four months in the summer.
Everything he said was true, but I didn't understand why he chose to say it. He told me that some of the comments implied: "Yours is not a real marriage. I am superior to you because my wife and I have avoided your misfortune." Until then it had not occurred to me there might be an element of one- upmanship.
I now see that my husband was simply approaching the world as many men do: as a place where people try to achieve and maintain status. I, on the other hand, was approaching the world as many women do: as a network of connections seeking support and consensus.
Independence vs. Intimacy.
Since women often think in terms of closeness and support, they struggle to preserve intimacy. Men, concerned with status, tend to focus more on independence. These traits can lead women and men to starkly different views of the same situation.
When Josh's old high-school friend called him at work to say he'd be in town, Josh invited him to stay for the weekend. That evening he told Linda they were having a house guest.
Linda was upset. How could Josh make these plans without discussing them with her beforehand? She would never do that to him. "Why don't you tell your friend you have to check with your wife?" she asked.
Josh replied, "I can't tell my friend, 'I have to ask my wife for permission'!"
To Josh, checking with his wife would mean he was not free to act on his own. It would make him feel like a child or an underling. But Linda actually enjoys telling someone, "I have to check with Josh." It makes her feel good to show that her life is intertwined with her husband's.
Advice vs. Understanding.
Eve had a benign lump removed from her breast. When she confided to her husband, Mark, that she was distressed because the stitches changed the contour of her breast, he answered, "You can always have plastic surgery."
This comment bothered her. "I'm sorry you don't like the way it looks," she protested. "But I'm not having any more surgery!"
Mark was hurt and puzzled. "I don't care about a scar," he replied. "It doesn't bother me at all."
"Then why are you telling me to have plastic surgery?" she asked.
"Because you were upset about the way it looks."
Eve felt like a heel. Mark had been wonderfully supportive throughout her surgery. How could she snap at him now?
The problem stemmed from a difference in approach. To many men a complaint is a challenge to come up with a solution. Mark thought he was reassuring Eve by telling her there was something she could do about her scar. But often women are looking for emotional support, not solutions.
When my mother tells my father she doesn't feel well, he invariably offers to take her to the doctor. Invariably, she is disappointed with his reaction. Like many men, he is focused on what he can do, whereas she wants sympathy.
Information vs. Feelings.
A cartoon shows a husband opening a newspaper and asking his wife, "Is there anything you'd like to say to me before I start reading the paper?" We know there isn't - but that as soon as the man begins reading, his wife will think of something.
The cartoon is funny because people recognize their own experience in it. What's not funny is that many women are hurt when men don't talk to them at home, and many men are frustrated when they disappoint their partners without knowing why.
Rebecca, who is happily married, told me this is a source of dissatisfaction with her husband, Stuart. When she tells him what she is thinking, he listens silently. When she asks him what is on his mind, he says, "Nothing."
All Rebecca's life she has had practice in verbalizing her feelings with friends and relatives. But Stuart has had practice in keeping his innermost thoughts to himself. To him, like most men, talk is information. He doesn't feel that talk is required at home.
Yet many such men hold center stage in a social setting, telling jokes and stories. They use conversation to claim attention and to entertain. Women can wind up hurt that their husbands tell relative strangers things they have not told them.
To avoid this kind of misunderstanding, both men and women can make adjustments. A woman may observe a man's desire to read the paper without seeing it is a rejection. And a man can understand a woman's desire to talk without feeling it is a manipulative intrusion.
Orders vs. Proposals.
Diana often begins statements with "Let's." She might say "Let's park over there" or "Let's clean up now, before lunch."
This makes Nathan angry. He has deciphered Diana's "Let's" as a command. Like most men, he resists being told what to do. But to Diana, she is making suggestions, not demands. Like most women, she formulates her requests as proposals rather than orders. Her style of talking is a way of getting others to do what she wants - but by winning agreement first.
With certain men, like Nathan, this tactic backfires. If they perceive someone is trying to get them to do something indirectly, they feel manipulated and respond more resentfully than they would to a straightforward request.
Conflict vs. Compromise.
In trying to prevent fights, some women refuse to oppose the will of others openly. But sometimes it's far more effective for a woman to assert herself, even at the risk of conflict.
Dora was frustrated by a series of used cars she drove. It was she who commuted to work, but her husband, Hank, who chose the cars. Hank always went for cars that were "interesting" but in continual need of repair.
After Dora was nearly killed when her brakes failed, they were in the market for yet another used car. Dora wanted to buy a late-model sedan from a friend. Hank fixed his sights on a 15-year-old sports car. She tried to persuade Hank that it made more sense to buy the boring but dependable car, but he would not be swayed.
Previously she would have acceded to his wishes. This time Dora bought the boring but dependable car and steeled herself for Hanks' anger. To her amazement, he spoke not a word of remonstrance. When she later told him what she had expected, he scoffed at her fears and said she should have done what she wanted from the start if she felt that strongly about it.
As Dora discovered, a little conflict won't kill you. At the same time, men who habitually oppose others can adjust their style to opt for less confrontation.
When we don't see style differences for what they are, we sometimes draw unfair conclusions: "You're illogical," "You're self- centered," "You don't care about me." But once we grasp the two characteristic approaches, we stand a better chance of preventing disagreements from spiraling out of control.
Learning the other's ways of talking is a leap across the communication gap between men and women, and a giant step towards genuine understanding.

Sunday, February 20, 2011

ishq da rutba,ishq hi jane...

Samajh Sakein na-2, 
Samajh Sakein na Log siyane,
Ishq da rutba, Ishq hi Jaane.

Is duniya ka khel rachayea,
Ishq di khaatir aap Khuda ne,
Ishq da rutba, ishq hi jaane.

Duniya bhuladi Ishq ne,
Apani mana di Ishq ne,
Dil wale jal gaye shonk se,
JAb aag lagadi Ishq ne ,
Jogi banade Ishq-Ishq,
Rogi banade Ishq-Ishq,
Sulii charaye Ishq-ishq,
Jeena sikhaye Ishq-ishq,
Jis ko Diya DIL, Jaan bhi usi ko do,
Jal ke kahein parwane, 
Ishq ka rutba,Ishq hi jaane-2
Is duniya ka khel rachayea,
Ishq di khaatir aap Khuda ne,
Ishq da rutba, ishq hi jaane-2

Kissa purana ishq ka, Dushman zamana ishq ka,
Jis ko laga majnu bana, Ulta nishana ishq ka -2,
Neendain churade ishq, 
Raatain jagadae ishq-ishq,
Jee ko jalaye ishq-ishq, 
Pagal banade ishq-ishq
Jitna bhi aaye dukh, Shikwa kabhi na karein,

Chup hi rahein parwane,

Ishq ka rutba,Ishq hi jaane-2
Is duniya ka khel rachayea,
Ishq di khaatir aap Khuda ne,
Ishq da rutba, ishq hi jaane-2

Samajh sake na-2 Log siyane,
Ishq ka rutba ishq da rutba Ishq hi jaane-4

some cute animal pics

j tu bin daseya tur jana c:Heer:Gurdaas maan g

tenu yaad kara naale rowa
rona palle paun waleya haye paun waleya
yaad kara naale rowa..
tenu yaad kara naale rowa

j tu bin daseya tur jana c
ve me naal saheliyan na jandi
agg lagdi chandre paani nu
je mein na bhardi na pashtaandi
j tu bin daseya . . .

tu beshak sanu jaan leya
saada asli roop pchaan leya
kite andro wehnda dil saada
tenu najar hakikat aa jandi
j tu bin daseya. . .

saada shessha e dil ajmaa chaleyein
saade jism te teda pa chaleyein
saade jehe tarede jisma nu
koi malamm raas v nahi aandi
j tu bin daseya . . .

kis de sirnawe me khat bheja
bheja ta me kehde hath bheja
uthe kaa atte kasad ki jaane
jithe maut v jaan tu bhey khaandi
j tu bin daseya . . .

sada tere sir iljaam nahi
asi bad haan par badnaam nahi
"mar jaane mann" te ki shikwa
sanu aap nibhani nahi aandi..

j tu bin daseya tur jana c
ve me naal saheliya naa jandi
agg lagdi chandre paani nu
j me na bhardi na pashtaandi

song- saheliyaan
singer-gurdas mann

Saturday, February 19, 2011

“A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave. A soul mate’s purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, and make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life.” ~Elizabeth Gilbert